Releasing Expectations
Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Enjoy family, food, football, and Black Friday!
Today was our day off, and our day of rest. We flew in yesterday with some serious jet lag. God blessed us with a day of rest, and also a day of reflecting and processing our time in Central America.
Today, I was able to sit down with the Father and actually process my time in Central America. I was able to remember what He taught me, what I was able to do, and the people that I fell in love with. Our time in Central America was a blessing, but it was also a challenge. When I first showed up, I had this goal of completely relying on the Father for everything and I had this expectation that it was going to be easy to get to that goal. When I made that my goal, I had no idea what I was getting into! I thought that a change would happen, and it would be easy. That I grow so much without having to go through hardships to do that growth and get where Christ wanted me to be. We had unexpected changes happen which caused me to rely on Jesus for stability. Because of the stability He gave me, I was able to press into people and fall in love with the people that He brought me too. I was able to jump into a divine romance with Him, and actually call Him my Father, romancer, and jump into a real relationship with him and not just think that He is some divine being that sits in the clouds telling us to live a certain way. I was able to really see Jesus, see His personality and truly how much He loves me. I was able to see parts of Him in me, and the others around me. But this didn't come from joining a mission trip, this came through trials and hardships that caused me to place my full trust into Him and pressing myself into Him.
These past 3 months were spent in Central America. My time in Central America was such a blessing, but with blessings also come hardships. It didn't look anything like it was "supposed" to look. When I first signed up for this trip, I had the expectation that it was going to easy, a change was going to happen to me that wouldn't break my heart, and that all would go according to plan. We had things happen to us that none of us expected to happen. We were caused to switch ministries and countries multiple times throughout the 3 months, and we were caused to have a total of a 54 hour bus ride. We had to leave people that we fell in love with, and begin all over again multiple times.
And now here we are, in the Philippines! My team and I are living in a children's home with at least 20 kids and 10 babies. It's looking like our ministry is going to be mainly involved around these kids, and falling completely in love with them. That shouldn't be a problem, since we are already in love with them. However, when I first showed up, I was in shock. When I signed up, I read that I would be working with victims of human trafficking, not with kids. I had the expectation that I would be out in the streets building relationships with the women, not changing diapers. After training camp happened, The Lord really placed human trafficking on my heart. I did a lot of research on it, and I felt my heart break. When I woke up this morning, I needed time with the Father, and we needed to talk things out. "Jessica, I placed you here for a reason. This is apart of my plan, and I need you to trust me on this" was what He whispered into my ear. This morning, He asked me to release the expectation I had of this country, and to step into His plan that He has for me.
So here we are! My team and I are living in a home with at least 30 children. We are woken up every morning at 5:30 to excited voices, girls coming in to get their clothes, and the smell of a new day with new adventures. My team and I are so thankful that we are able to have a "home" to ourselves, and for all of the 30 kids that we are able to love on. God has placed human trafficking on my heart and I do hear His call towards working with the victims, but right now He has called me to love on these 30 precious children.
