Behind the Invisibility cloak

When we first stepped into the women’s home, I didn’t see her. My attention was first focused on everyone running up to me, filled with excitement. Everyone wanted to know my name, where I was from, and how I got my skin so white. You know, the usual questions Asian’s ask. I was first drawn to the women who spoke English. I could communicate with them, making my life easier. The first day, I didn’t even see her.

The second day came, and we decided to teach English. Everyone was just so hungry to have that knowledge. My attention was still with the women who spoke English and with the team as they told stories. I then saw a group of women sitting on the floor in the back of the room completely disengaged. I wanted them to feel loved and not left out, so I focus started to shift.

That was when I met her. She sat there by herself, with no one around her while she stared at the ground. She was completely invisible to those around her, or so it seemed. I felt Jesus tug on my heart to go sit with her, so I did. As I sat down, I felt like Harry Potter, putting on an invisibility cloak. One minute everyone was talking with me, the next it was like I didn’t exist because I was with her. When I sat down, she didn’t acknowledge me. Jesus, however, was speaking loud and clear as He affirmed one word that I had been hearing throughout the day; one that I myself have felt the sting and searing pain of: invisible.

Throughout my life, I have struggled with believing the lie that I was invisible. In fact, I was so used to it, that I felt like I put on my invisibility cloak every day before going to school, knowing that I wasn’t seen or cared for by others. I have received much healing and redemption from this lie, yet the memory of the pain still remains. So, I continued to sit with the woman, expecting her to continue to ignore my presence. An hour passed where she didn’t even look at me. Then finally she acknowledged me by grabbing my hand, bringing it to her face, and crying. I pulled her in close, crying with her as we both felt the pain of the lie she was currently believing. However, through her tears, she began to see the truth: her invisibility cloak came off, and yes, she was seen.

I began to focus strictly on this woman. I desperately wanted her to know she was seen, and I was willing to do whatever for her to see it. We cried together, spoke in broken English together, made paper airplanes together, we did whatever we possibly could, and she began to see that others saw her too. Our one-on-one times grew into a small group of three, growing into a bigger group of five. Her confidence grew more, and she began to make friends. Jesus began to build a small community for her.

As my time came to an end at the women’s home, I saw another lie that she was believing: she wasn’t beautiful. As her confidence grew, I wanted so badly for her to know and believe that she was beautiful. I pulled out my phone and we took pictures or each other, but she still fought me whenever I told her she was beautiful. Our last day together came and she still believed the lie she wasn’t beautiful. I did everything I could to show her her beauty, but the truth never stuck with her.

I said goodbye to all my new friends. When I came to her, I saw how much Jesus was working on her heart and knew I was going to miss her greatly. In just six days, she went from believing she was invisible to seeing that she is loved. As I said my goodbye I felt the familiar break in my heart as we had our last conversation:

“We friends?” she asked.

I nodded vigorously.

“No. We no friends. We sisters. You love me. I love you. We sister,” she corrected me.

This past week, the team I am leading has been in India. We have been working with a women’s home that rescues women of all ages from the sex slave industry. As many times as I have met people who Jesus has used to break my heart, I can’t even begin to tell you how much Jesus has used this woman. I walked out of that home with my heart completely shattered, knowing that it was my job to trust God with her, knowing that I probably won’t see her again.

Please pray for this woman. God is doing so much work in her, and I am so honored to have crossed her path for a few days. I can’t give both her name or show her face, but here is one of my favorite pictures of her. She is so beautiful, and I love her so much.